Travel.

Anxious people and travel often do not mix in the wanderlust-themed soup of life. For the anxious soul, travel is too unknown to be comprehensible. New roads, cars, rooms, restaurants, people, and spaces…the unfamiliar territory is daunting. I want to let you in on a little secret: the joy of adventure always outweighs the fear.

“I would rather have a panic attack on a beach in Brazil, than in my living room.”

Let’s say you are at a crossroads, (the travel-themed metaphors are just TOO easy) and your options are to stay home or go on an adventure. I guarantee most anxious people will be consumed by option A.

“Well, if I just stay home and rest this one time, I’ll be better prepared for next time”

“I’m tired and I think I’ll just watch a movie at home”

“I don’t have the right clothes/gear for that, so I’m going to pass”

“I’m swamped with work, I just can’t get away for the afternoon”

Guess what? I call bullshit on all those answers. Anxiety likes to dictate the initial response to questions and call the shots. After years of dealing with panic, I still catch myself slipping into the default mode of “oh, no thanks…not this time.” CHALLENGE THAT THINKING.

Travel is this beautiful gift that allows up to pause reality and submerge into a hidden world where the potential is limitless. If you want to be a carefree hippie-wood nymph and traverse throughout the woods, you can. If you want to get a tattoo in Myrtle Beach (not recommended based on personal experience) then go for it! Traveling allows you to shed that timid shell and explore your true persona in a new environment.

The next time someone asks you to travel (an afternoon/day/week), pause before you answer. Reflect on this idea: Anxiety does not have to travel with you. What if you could leave her at home to veg on the couch while you explore the world. She doesn’t deserve to come on an awesome trip.

At the height on my anxiety, long car rides would be difficult. I would ruminate on all of the things that could go wrong once we got to the destination. Now, I focus on enjoying uninterrupted time with my fiance. I focus on being mindful and present on the experience instead of catasterbating (patent pending on that word…kinda).

Here are a few tips that I use to make traveling an awesome experience:

  • Prepare
    • If we are hiking, we map out the trail and share the latitude/longitude with friends so if we get eaten by a bear, they can find our gear and fight over the good stuff
    • Use google maps to see a “street view” of where you are going. Visualizing the new location can alleviate some bad vibes
    • Check the weather…duh.
  • Stack the deck
    • There is nothing wrong with bringing parts of your toolbox (see previous post!)
    • essential oils, a favorite mantra, a book are all great supporting objects during travel
    • Be rested, stay hydrated, eat well…when your body is healthy, your mind will follow along
  • Embrace
    • Be mindful to focus on the experience, not the anxiety
    • You are having a beautiful moment in a new place, simply enjoy it

 

I finish with a caveat. We love to travel and 80% of the time, I’m a badass travel buddy. There are still times I get overwhelmed. I HATE flying and I drink myself into stupor to board the flying germ tube. I also still deal with occasional anxiety while driving on the highway. I ignore the feeling and zone out to some nerdy podcast instead of trying to figure out what I’m feeling. Is that therapeutic? Nope. Is that the healthy, hippie way to cope? Hell no. Is that the yogi-granola way to heal? Naw. But, it’s a process and a journey. I’m striving for integrity and raw writing…not perfection.

Love and light.

 

Enjoy some pictures from my travels over the last month

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Our ‘hotel’ for the night during a camping trip

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Watching the waves in Sunset Beach

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Braves game! 

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Exploring downtown Wilmington, NC

 

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Nature meditation.

This weekend we embarked on a hike in Dawsonville, Ga. We hiked to a bed and breakfast that can only be reached by foot through the hills of north Georgia. It is a true gem and perfectly named “Hike Inn.” Ahh, the puns. This was our second trip to this secret spot and it was wild to see how much has changed in our lives since our last visit. When we first started hiking two years ago, we stumbled upon the Inn on a google search. The only hike I had ever done was towards the back of the Target parking lot on Sundays. This whole “put on a backpack, voluntarily walk through the woods, and eat beef jerky” thing was not my normal routine. I played outside a lot as a child, but quickly lost that wanderlust side of myself in early adulthood.

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Our journey back to Hike Inn this weekend was healing. We had genuine conversation with new friends, listened to guitar as the sun set, and silently gazed out at the mountains. My love affair with nature has grown with each hike. We have hiked hundreds of miles in the past 2 years and I feel as if I find a piece of my soul during each walk. There is something so vulnerable about traipsing around in the woods and facing your own mind. It is a raw experience where all stimuli of distraction is gone and you must delve into your own spirit. You begin to get to know yourself out in the wilderness.

Meditation and nature compliment one another. Throughout history, many people used nature as a practice inspiration and conducted many sessions outside. Most of us do not have the luxury of living on acres of land, so hiking is a good compromise. I enjoy a walking meditation during my hikes. It normally goes something like this:

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Deep breath in 1-2-3, hold 1-2-3, exhale 1-2-3, look around at the magnificent earth. Feel the ground under each boot as you step. Smell the fresh air. Listen for the birds.

Another favorite of mine is something I think I invented…granted, people have been alive for many years so I’m sure some other boho hippie has done this before me. Sigh. Anyway, this is how it goes:

ABC’s of gratitude. During your hike, think of one person, place, or thing that you are grateful for that begins with the letter “A.” Move all the way through the alphabet. You will be humbled by the blessings in your life and by the peace of your surroundings.

We disconnected from technology and the outside world this weekend. It heightened the intensity of my practice and allowed me to truly experience my surroundings. When is the last time you were in nature and sat down to take it all in? I bet you were tempted to take out your phone and immediately capture the beauty. What if you captured the beauty with a mental picture and used it to harness inspiration for your meditation practice? I am guilty of using my phone too much and forgetting the importance of a mindful presence. Working on it…

After we got home, I felt really overwhelmed from all of the stimulation of regular life. Everything seems so loud, bright, and busy after spending a few days in the woods. I verbalized this to Kemp and he added tapestries to my meditation corner to create a secret place. Now, I can meditation and read in my own hidden corner.

My wish for you is to get outside, connect with nature, and do hippie shit.

Love and Light.

 

 

 

Googlephobia.

I am the queen of Google.

I have removed the Google app from my phone because I morphed into the Dictator of Google.

I feel anxious, therefore I must Google the shit out of these feelings.

Scenario:

I was sitting on a beach with Kemp last summer. We were paddle boarding, drinking cheap beer, and having a blissful time. I left anxiety at home for the day…or so I thought. All of a sudden, I got a cramp in my right calf. The logical side of my brain should have processed the fact we went running earlier and I was probably dehydrated. But the logical side of my brain is boring so clearly I spiraled down the black hole of catastrophic thinking. I immediately took out my phone and started googling “cramp in calf.” Guess what came up? Something along the line of blood clot, cancer, imminent death, etc. Let me casually reiterate something. At this point, I had been a nurse for a few years and had 4 years of medical courses. My logical brain knew that these google revelations were wildly inaccurate. My panic, freak the fuck out, brain had other plans. Five minutes had passed and I was attempting to convince Kemp to chug his beer and take me to the SeaCoast Medical Building. He looked at me, smiled, took my hand and led me into the water. And that was that. I bounced up and out of the dreaded Google hole.

End scene.

I write this in jest, but I imagine a lot of you have been there. The anxious thoughts arise and we seek validation from an external source. My logical brain knew I did not have a blood clot, but my panic brain thought that was reasonable and wanted support by googling ridiculous things on the internet. I also have googled “anxiety quiz” numerous times to simply confirm that I am not losing it. My results always indicate mild-moderate anxiety and that gives me a few minutes of relief, knowing I must be ok compared to others. Why can’t I just process these thoughts without external validation?

We all need someone to look at us and say, “you are calm, you are fine, you are doing well.” I often use Google as that voice, because I’m too broke for therapy every week. Cheers!

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Status post the blood clot meltdown of 2014. Yes, I do have full formed legs. I have not mastered the art of the standing ocean paddle board experience. I can’t help but laugh at that one 🙂

Where Are You Being Led?

Keep close to Nature’s heart… and break clear away, once in awhile, and climb a mountain or spend a week in the woods. Wash your spirit clean. -John Muir

I am feeling extraordinarily landlocked.

Kemp and I are lucky enough to lead a life that involves a lot of travel and adventures. However, this whole work/grad school/clinical rotation thing is not exactly conducive to my wanderlust spirit. Traveling, ironically, brings me a great sense of calm. I feel serene and grounded when we are on an adventure.

I’ve never had a panic attack in the woods. That concept makes me giggle a little bit. I’ve been miles away from civilization with minimal supplies and never once been anxious. But, I want to crawl out of my skin waiting in a long line at Target. Life is weird and funny and keeps me on my toes.

I bought this compass for Kemp as a gift last year. It has very special coordinates and our favorite quote on the back. We felt led towards each other during vulnerable times. He is my compass, a guiding light back to the path. 12347981_10153756035629841_5584649096648018747_n

We are planning a weekend trip to Wilmington, NC in January. I always find life a little sweeter when there is an adventure on the horizon. Do you have holiday travel plans to see family or friends? Do you feel a calling to explore a new place?

 

Love and light.